I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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