that's an acceptable place to lick
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
