you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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