My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
