it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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