I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
