i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
