Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize