eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
