we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
