oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
