And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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