My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
