oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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