Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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