I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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