I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize