I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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