How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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