Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
