Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize