Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do herpes really smell.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
