Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
