i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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