party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
