I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
