I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
