You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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