I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
