I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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