my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
