i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
