When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
