Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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