She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
