It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
