theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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