I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
