I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
