My liver just broke up with me...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
