that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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