): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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