I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
