i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize