i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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