question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
