That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
