u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
