she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
