Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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