Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
