Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
