it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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