I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize