she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you win again, gameday.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
