Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
