You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
